Riding down from Bangor on an eastern train
After weeks of hunting in the woods of Maine
Quite extensive whiskers, beard, moustache as well
Sat a student fellow, tall and slim and swell
Empty seat behind him, no one at his side
Into quiet village, eastern train did glide
Enter aged couple, take the hindmost seat
Enter village maiden, beautiful, petite
Blushingly she faltered, Is this seat engaged?
Sees the aged couple properly enraged
Student's quite ecstatic, sees her ticket through
Thinks of the long tunnel, thinks what he will do
Pleasantly they chatted, how the cinders fly
Till the student fellow gets one in his eye
Maiden, sympathetic, turns herself about
May I, if you please, Sir, try to get it out?
Then the student fellow feels a gentle touch
Hears a gentle murmur, Does it hurt you much?
Whiz! Slap! Bang! Into tunnel quite
Into glorious darkness, black as Egypt's night
Out into the daylight glides that eastern train
Student's hair is ruffled just the merest grain
Maiden seen all blushes when then and there appeared
A tiny little earring in that horrid student's beard